Confessions ...

I’m so unmotivated.

February month is my Achilles heel.

I’m so not in the mood to write post.

.

The surge of wind seems to wrap around me.

It triggers the senses within me.

Whenever I think,

The pool of sadness starts to whirl and fill my chest within seconds.

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My last post was on the MV 【最幸福的事】.

I think I have watched it for at least 8 times?

Each time I watch, it triggers the invisible string attached within me.

The story brought tears to my eyes.

As though the onion made me weeps.

Maybe because of what I had experienced too.

.

.

你撐著雨傘　借我那次　已經足夠我　記得一輩子

我懂後來你不是不堅持　愛情本來就　沒萬無一失

淚水離開了　你的手指

那不如讓它　流在這信紙

我想女孩子　最貼心的是

讓愛的人選結束的方式

我最幸福的事　當過你的天使

趁鼻酸能掩飾　讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次

最幸福的事　吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢

為摯愛的人　在左邊心口保留位置　是最幸福的事

可惜愛不是　童話故事　不能夠永遠　依賴著王子

才慢慢認識只剩兩個字　我怎麼忍心　為難你解釋

我最幸福的事　當過你的天使

趁鼻酸能掩飾　讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次

最幸福的事　吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢

為摯愛的人　在左邊心口保留位置　是最幸福的事

那一陣子有你　美的不像現實

多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止

我最幸福的事　牽著你的日子

一段愛從開始　直至分開我們都對彼此誠實

最幸福的事　對那片海用力大喊永遠的樣子

想得起的事　那天和你傻笑著認識

是最幸福的事

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Miserable.

I have so many things to say to you.

Yet, you won’t be within my reach; anymore.

.

It has been 2 years since u died

.

I always blame myself:
For your death,

For not taking good care of you,

For punishing you so badly,

For not giving you extra attention,

For not letting you eat as much as you want,

For depriving your rights,

And giving you so much pain.

.

I still remember clearly what happened that day.

So clear, so much pain.

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I just wanted to say ***, ***.

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 my love...