One day, my mother and I dated my sis to IKEA. She was late, so we went to giant first while waiting for her arrival.
This is when my fumes started boiling.
Actually such cases happened on me were quite common, as in experiencing it quite often. But it NEVER failed to piss me off. I think it become a habit or maybe rather a reflex for me to react.
Seriously, sometimes whenever I was alone or accompanied by small group; I hate weekends for some reason, which I’m wondering also. I’m not sure is it because being a loner, I actually hate crowds or simply because they are irritating.
Imagined that …
Those kinds of scenarios where you are alone, face off with so many people surrounded you; hindering your way out. You would obviously get mad over them obstructing your way.
So, the same thing happened at giant too. There are lots of people, kids too, pushing the big trolleys everywhere. I wasn’t in a good mood at the start, so I guess they just kind of add flames to it.
My mom actually went to Giant just to get apples. There are many types of apples available, but it seems like only the big and round apples from China caught all apple lovers, so they were all surrounding that area and grabbing apple like siao. I hate this kind of scenario where aunties and uncles squeezing one another just to grab the better quality stuffs. So I stayed at one corner just in case my mom needs me. There are people who are waiting for their families or friends, obviously for those apple lovers too.
But then it seems like wherever I stand would be a wrong place. Cause there would be those who pushed big trolleys who always like to be in the crowd, squeezing through the heavy traffic. I mean it’s really bloody hell, the passageway is already so narrow and cramped, so many people are trying to walk through it and these brainless people likes to squeeze in as well. There are other passageways where is more spacious, just required a few more steps of walking, obviously they are just lazy to do so!
Brainless, dumbass, whatever la!
So I reflected on my emotions while queuing with my mom to get the stuffs paid. I was thinking: “Shouldn’t I be more understanding? It just some small stuff, why should I get so worked up with it?” “It’s really stupid to get pissed off with such tiny matters. I should have controlled my emotions better …”
So we went home after meeting my sis. Everything well on smoothly, perhaps there wasn’t a lot of people at IKEA, and so I was feeling all right too.
I fell asleep on the bed immediately after reaching home. I reminded my mom twice not to disturb my sleep as usually she would have the tendency to do it.
Well, it didn’t succeed at all. My mom would always have her “unintentionally” ways to Opps wake me up. I can’t sleep with noise and lights on, so what she did was on-ing the light and television. Automatically, I woke up unwillinging to see my surrounding. It started to piss me off even more when I saw my dad was watching the exact television programme, and my mom purposely watched it in the room.
Failed to fall asleep, I woke up unwillinging and laze around the sofa. Things start to get “not-in-my-way”. MY disturbance beautysleep starts to harps on EVERYTHING. I got furiously mad over small stuffs like having my dinner, raising voices at people and banging stuffs within my reach. NOTHING was right, EVERYTHING went haywire!!
Hysterically, I was led by my emotions… Dammed it!
After I finally cooled down, thinking back, this was how I reacted when I was a kid. Seriously, I think it’s kind of nostalgic. This is how I behaved when I got bullied and no one to talk to, the way I release stress. LOL
I totally regretted my decision when I stepped out of the mrt station. I rolled my eyes when I saw the crowd. The flooding madness of people is what I hate most; I just can’t stand it at all.
It’s fucking shit that so many people came Tampines today. Aren’t they supposed to go Orchard or town area? Don’t tell me that all east side living residents gathered on Tampines. I wouldn’t believe it at all.
We went Tampines mall first to have our lunch.
I’m really not sure if it instantly affects my mood or not. Everything was not right again. There were many people; attendants busying serving customers, lunch was rushed; not enjoyable at all. Even window shopping was not enjoyable as well.
The newly mall is mobbed with people. The passageway is flooded with people and blocked. We took escalator down and avoided the flooded crowd. Still, there are many people on the basement level.
I REALLYreallyHATE-d going to crowded places.
It just makes me very vexed; annoyed; irritated; pissed off; provoked; whatever you can think of to makes people mad!! It just make my blood boils over small matters (what people thinks), but they were rather considered big irritating stuffs to me.
Haven’t you experience these before?? :
1. The place crowded with people; all kind of faces, squeezing one another. Sometimes, I just feel very irritated that there is someone sticking on my back, leaning closer and closer, almost feeling the presence of others on my back.
“So what? My back got glue or honey isit, so that you have to lean so close? Or isit that my back smells so good that attracted you?” It just feels bloody gross and sickening!
2. Then there are people who LOVES to cut-queue. Obviously I’m in the queue already, and out of nowhere came a manner-less person and cut in front of me.
“What? Can’t wait for a second isit? Will die huh? Didn’t your mama teach you manners of not to do such disgraceful stuffs?”
3. And the place is already sooo crowded and yet there are people in groups whom like to stand in the middle of the passageway like NOBODY BUSINESS!
What they do best? Blocking people’s way lor.
The place is already so crowded; clearly there are people who are trying to walk in both directions and there they are, standing in the middle of nowhere like statues, unobvious of what is going on around them.
“Stamford Raffles isit??”
4. I think this just applied to me. I seriously dun like people who walks like slowcoach. They would just make me impatient. Well, my mom is just one of them. I always have to stop and wait for her. I mean like aunties and uncles walk slowly is all right, but there are others whom are like that also. I mean like it’s their business to walk so, but sometimes they are just hindering people’s way.
I just feel that all these loose people are forgetting all their manners and courtesy when they are in their own world, forgetting about others.
I think I just feeling fucking uncomfortable with crowds. I think I may be suffering from some mental disorders. ROFL.
Maybe I’m suffering fromEnochlophobia?
For those who does not know: Enochlophobia is the fear of crowds, those who suffer with this fear will go out of their way to avoid places like malls, theaters, or any event that crowds would regular attend. Few things they fear will happen when around large crowds are: Being trampled to death, contracting a deadly virus, getting lost in a massive crowd of people and etc.
I think maybe I’m not. Simply because I dun fear crowds, I HATE crowds. I think this makes a difference. Practically, i just have no patience for these kind of people...
So, if you think u are going to date me on a very crowded place, please don’t; because I would show you the very ugly side of me.